Thinking outside the Horsebox

Thinking out outside the box is good, but Thinking outside the Horsebox, don’t even think of going there.
Been there, done that, lost everything, which interestingly is why I can afford to be honest about it.
If what’s been done to me interests you, the details, as much as I can be bothered to write, are here.
“Thinking outside the Horsebox” is what’s left. I thought about how to make money out of the phrase, do I copyright it, patent it? Why bother, if you want to steal it, steal it. By not protecting it in any way, shape or form, I at least screw a few lawyers out of their potential earnings.
“Thinking outside the Horsebox” is about horses, and how we think about them. To take a simple example, I wanted to demonstrate the Bannedwaggon, my latest vehicle, pulled by Obama, my pony, driven solo from a wheelchair, round Hyde Park, and who doesn’t. So I drove Obama and the vehicle there from Exeter.
That was a full stop there. The sentence ended. That is it. I didn’t put him in a horsebox and drive the horsebox from Exeter to London, I drove Obama and the Bannedwaggon from Exeter to Hyde Park. 200+ miles.
That is Thinking outside the Horsebox.
The British Driving Society insist that a whip, when driving an animal, is vital for safety . I didn’t use one, I didn’t carry one. That is Thinking outside the Horsebox. The fact that I didn’t need one, that at no stage in 16 tough and frequently dangerous days, did I ever think “gosh I wish I could whip this animal to make me safer” suggests that Thinking outside the Horsebox isn’t a bad idea. I never thought a whip would make Obama safer either. I occasionally wanted to take a whip TO various people, mostly car drivers, but that would be illegal. To carry a whip for such a purpose, or to suggest to anyone that using one for such a purpose, is a good idea, is illegal.
I would suggest carrying a whip to hit such people if it wasn’t for one fact. Stuff legality. Whips scare horses, they scare ponies. If you are around any animal, carrying something that scares it, is stupid. Thinking outside the Horsebox, suggests that whips do no good, demonstrably do harm, are illegal if used for their only sensible purpose, so ban the bloody things.
The equestrian Establishment are infatuated with nailing lumps of metal on horses feet. The results are injuries to horses and people, deaths of horses and people. To make horses safer, they are bandaged to within an inch of their lives. To make people safer they have to wear a special helmet that can cope with the impact of a horseshoe.
Motorcycle crash helmets as worn by nutcases surviving 180mph+ crashes aren’t good enough. Formula 1 motor racing helmets aren’t good enough. Those helmets haven’t been tested against a horseshoe shaped anvil.
The shoes are clearly bloody dangerous. So, Thinking outside the Horsebox, Obama wore no shoes on his back feet, and velcro on Old Mac hoofboots in front to protect his rather delicate soles. He had no problems with either set of feet.
Bits, lumps of metal inserted into an animals mouth to control it’s position, no it’s a pony I’m talking about not a trout, NOT a fishhook, that’s completely different, that’s a piece of metal, inserted into an animals mouth to control its position. Totally different, a pice of metal, not a lump.
And we aren’t talking about slavery, the bits tied into slaves mouths as a punishment. Apparently 12 hours wearing a bit reduces a human to a very obedient creature, and has the massive virtue if you want to sell the slave later, that it leaves no marks on the body. And who can see a slaves soul.
I used the Dr Cook bitless bridle, though I have driven Obama in the Be Kind, and in a rope halter Gunnar Schillig made for me for a completely different pony. Thinking outside the Horsebox again, and at NO stage did I wish I had a bit in Obama’s mouth. Maserati owners might benefit from a lump[ of metal tied in their mouths, or possible a good whipping, but Obama wouldn’t.
When Obama was most scared, and Exeter to Hyde Park was a very scary trip, he turned to me for reassurance and Ginger Nuts.
Thinking outside the Horsebox produced my theory of the Godmother training concept. The essence of which is BE NICE. If the pony thinks you are nice, he will turn to you in times of trouble. If he thinks you are a whip wielding shit, he will run.
The horseworld call this bolting.
Obama bolted a few times. The Bannedwaggon was in a highly experimental state, I hadn’t a clue about my route, and took the Bannedwaggon down a route that NO other horsedrawn vehicle in the world, with the exception of a saddlechariot, could have taken. Stupid yes, educational definitely.
Every so often things went pearshaped, the vehicle flipped up or did something dramatic and Obama decided to depart at high speed. The first few times, I was ready and pulled the instant release system. Obama was no longer being followed by some weird object making strange noises, and stopped for me to sort things out. Richmond Bridge, rush hour is a good test of an emergency system.
The last time, I wasn’t concentrating, had the ripcord coming off the wrong side, was under a vehicle being dragged at speed down a narrow alley into a wall, but managed to pull the ripcord, and Obama stopped in seconds and came back to ask what the hell thought I was doing.
It took me three weeks to get him back in the Bannedwaggon, at least partly because I found moving fairly painful, and had to take him right back to the beginning, but the instant release system works, even under extreme pressure.
Thinking outside the Horsebox invented and developed the saddlechariot instant release sytem, for which the equestrian establishment have never forgiven me.
Thinking outside the Horsebox, I realise that I can never be acceptable to the Equestrian Establishment.
What I can offer is a kinder way to work with horses, a safer way to work with horses and a more accessible way for everyone, whatever their background, whatever their earnings, to work with horses.
Safe, Kind, Accessible. Why is this totally unacceptable to the British Equestrian Establishment. Depressingly I have documented proof. I say depressingly, because so many of the equestrian establishment come from my background, or possibly that I come from their background, and I know on the basis of the last ten years, they will not forgive me.
Thinking outside the Horsebox, I have to ask whether the hatred of a few, should interfere with trying to bring pleasure to many, and I come up with the happy answer, stuff the Establishment.
I started the drive from Exeter to Hyde Park as a pretty pissed off individual, I returned totally devoted to revolution. So, expect fireworks.
Thinking outside the horsebox is the story of a couple of journeys without a horsebox, and ten years getting better and better at horses and worse and worse at people.


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